When you think back to your earliest childhood, which dreams do you remember most? Those that came true, or those that have forever moved into that shadowy land where unfulfilled hopes and broken dreams reside?
Humankind is designed to dream, dream on a very large scale. Just look at the pyramids, the Great Wall of China, walking on the moon, the discoveries made every day by medical researchers everywhere. None of them would be possible without our inborn ability to dream, to imagine a future far beyond our present-day horizons.
As a child, maybe you wanted to be a cowboy. Or a fairy princess. In fact, maybe you still do. However, the dreams you had once and the dreams you have now differ greatly, simply because as a grown member of our kind, you now wield the power to make your dreams come true, barring the fact that they are humanly impossible. In most cases, the only thing stopping you is your own self.
Fear of failure
Most people abhore failure, and some even wander into the realms of atychiphobia. Once you start to grapple with the claws of this fear, there is certainly no more forward drive left in you, and self sabotage becomes your modus operandi. Rather than rolling the dice, hitching up your pants and making an honest attempt to change your life for the better, by doing something that ultimately mostly you desire, you snuggle up with your couch, and do nothing. You do nothing because God forbid you should fail.
Yet, failure is the only sure way to get where you want to be. To fail is to get up and try again, yet like most fears, this one also holds its throne in the deep currents of your subconscious. Delving into it will require kicking yourself at least into first gear, and an initial battle with your own ego.
Learning to fly
Quite obviously, the first hurdle on your way to the Emerald City involves shaking off the cloak of fear. The first thing to bear in mind at all times is that failure is either a social construct, or a self-made sandcastle – while you may think you are the captain of a sinking ship, others may perceive you as a seasoned sailor.
Start by imagining the worst possible outcome – what is the worst thing that can happen if you miss your objective? In some cases, failure can be objectively frightening, but most often it is both highly unlikely, and not as bad as you think it will be. Map out all possible outcomes, rank them according to likelihood, and see if the fear starts to melt away.
If you still feel overwhelmed, try devising a plan B – and map this out as well: if so and so should happen, I will do so and so. Knowing there is a net to fall back on will be a silent confidence booster.
Finally – teach yourself to think positively. Your mind is your all powerful weapon. If you believe everything will be all right, it will be, even when it’s not. No matter how idiotic this sounds, if you believe it, you will make it true.
Plan of action
Once you have decided it is time to put things in motion, you need to channel a seasoned general and make a proper battle plan.
Write everything down – your fears, the desired outcome, and most importantly – your plan of action. Break up your ultimate goal into smaller chunks to keep yourself from choking. If you want to change your carrier – take baby steps. You don’t need to march into the boss’s office right away and flaunt your resignation. Test the waters, look for other opportunities, network a bit.
Whatever resides behind your ultimate finish line – you will only get there by taking one step after another, and focusing on one at a time will take a lot of the pressure off.
Set up a reward system for each step – but don’t make your treats counterproductive. If you are trying to lose weight, and you reward yourself for dropping three pounds with a week-long training hiatus, you are not focusing properly. A cheat meal is fine, as long as you don’t allow it to swerve you back into your old way of life.
Arm yourself
When you have a plan and know your steps – arm yourself with the proper tools for the job. Self improvement is always a popular topic in both journals and magazines, and there is a lot you can learn from others.
For instance, you can take a page out of the professional’s book, and adopt a semi-detached coaching attitude towards you own problems. High performance coaching is a technique used by life coaches to help their clients get where they want to be. Try applying their methods on yourself, and see how your newfound point of view helps refocus your perspective.
Motivational videos, while they may sound corny at first glance, can also push you a long way.
Learning to relax is also imperative. While keeping your eyes on the prize at all times can kick your motivation up a notch, simply being for a while can also do wonders when you decide to get back in the ring.
Remember that you are the one who sets the rules, and you are the one who will eventually throw in the towel. Before you do so, take a long and hard look at the obstacles, and see if there isn’t a way around them.
Get up. Dress up. Show up. Day in and day out. You only fail if you stay down.
