Both men and women commonly suffer from random sexual dysfunction problems – men frequently experience either erectile dysfunction – trouble getting or keeping an erection – or premature ejaculation (ejaculating too early.) Many women find it challenging to regularly achieve orgasm during intercourse. So what is the common “hidden” factor contributing to sexual problems?
Our sexual programs are controlled by our brain and our brain’s operations are influenced by our thoughts. Therefore, the thoughts you have most frequently during sex may be affecting your sexual experience. For instance, try not to think about a black car. What picture does this immediately create in your mind? A black car.
Now, staying with the car analogy, let’s apply this concept to the sexual act:
If you’re a man with an early ejaculation problem, it’s likely you consistently overheat your engine before you begin intercourse… after that, you’re trying not to think about your radiator blowing.
A man with an erectile dysfunction (weak erection) issue is having problems jump starting his car. He’s not able to get a spark or keep the connection going… because his predominant thoughts are worrying about his ability to get his engine started, then worrying about his tire becoming flat during his sexual encounter.
It’s a bit different from a woman’s perspective.
A woman challenged with being unable to orgasm – or a woman who orgasms infrequently during intercourse – is desperately trying to stop thinking: “Am I? Am I? Is this an orgasm? Is it going to finally happen now?!” and by default, accidentally stalls her vehicle.
See how your thoughts may be detrimentally influencing your ability to consistently achieve and maintain sexually fulfilling experiences?
It is common for both men and women to lose their sex drive when they cannot glean satisfaction and enjoyment from sex. These issues also contribute to men withdrawing from participating emotionally in a relationship and it’s frequently why women stop wanting sex.
Performance anxiety stems from your brain not having a complete procedure to follow during sex.
Just like driving a car, you can’t have confidence (or know how to stay in control) if you don’t understand how to operate your vehicle. You have to know how to move through your gears, in the right order, with the right timing… How to brake without stalling – and you’ve got to be able to make speedy adjustments to account for unexpected distractions!
It’s not just about what you are physically doing during sex, the mechanical actions, but what you are thinking. How you are applying your thought processes and how these thoughts are physically affecting your body’s sexual programs. This is the “hidden” factor which influences your sexual programs the most.
Because your conscious mind can only concentrate on ONE subject at a time, you are either contemplating your problem or focusing your attention in such a way that you achieve your desired result – of enjoying mutually fulfilling sexual intercourse.